open your mind

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I remember years ago when I believed that people SHOULD act a certain way, behave just so, & be more like me. Yowzers- that’s pretty egotistical! It sounds very narcissistic when writing that as myself, today. I’ve grown so much over the last couple of years. I got off my high horse.
What a boring world we would live in if every person on planet earth believed in one way of thinking, one way of believing, one way of being, & one way of acting.
I think there is great tragedy in believing in one opinion & one opinion only. There is a closed mindedness that occurs. One misses out on growth when closed off. I think the even more tragic part is trying to convince another person, that thinks differently than you, to think your way & STOP at nothing until they have convinced you (even if it’s unkind). This is not a debate. No winners here- equal playing field. I think it’s sad when someone makes you feel shame or feel bad or feel less than for thinking differently than they do.
I spoke with a mom in jamnd, today, & she mentioned that she was perusing a post that was chatting about mom’s with experience with an only child. She was about to post her experience, when she saw a response that was shaming moms for only having one child. She thought about reporting to me, but didn’t. My beloved mama friend fought tooth & nail to have a child (for years, unsuccessfully). Today, her beloved babe is a miracle & an absolute Godsend, as her little is a beautiful creation, a gift from a dear surrogate friend. She is the best mom!!! She was made to feel bad & it made me mad bc you have to think before you post blanket statements that are one-sided.
Slowly, over the last few years, through my husband & my therapist’s observations of me wanting people to do things the ‘right’ way, aka my way, I’ve started to realize that there are many ways to be right. I stopped trying to sway people & I stopped trying to make them more like me. I’m learning to meet people where they are & learning to embrace their belief systems & to try to understand their perspectives & ways of looking at the world. My way is my way & your way is your way. I am no more important than you & you are no more important than me. We all count.
I challenge you to meet people where they are, to allow them to believe what they believe, to give them permission to feel what they feel in the space they are in. Do not try to sway or right fight or pull them to the other side. Offer your opinion & allow them to decide which path they want to travel. Providing your opinion is enough & then it is on them (free will) to decide which path will be best fit for them & their family.
There is great tragedy in only looking at things one way. There is great sadness in making blanket statements about one perspective. The world is made up of all different belief systems & beautiful people from all walks of life & each of these beautiful humans deserves to be embraced & loved & heard. You, mama, do not have the right to tell someone they are wrong in their thinking, for their thinking is their truth. Love them from where they are & respect their belief system even if it greatly differs from yours. Our truth looks different for people because we are raised a certain way & born to certain parents & we grow up in certain places & work certain jobs & all of those play into the beautiful being you have become.
Let us not divide, moms. Let us allow each other to be free to believe what it is we believe, without name calling, without judgement, & without unkindness. Speak from a helpful & kind & caring & loving place or remain silent until you can.
This group of special moms is diverse in so many ways & that is what makes jamnd incredibly special & meaningful. Ask a question & read the different responses from the new & seasoned moms & do what is best for you. What you do will always be the best choice for you. You may not rip on someone’s choice bc you disagree. Disagree kindly- we are all on the same team- this is not a contest- not a competition. This is a sisterhood & a family &, @ times, our lifeline to get us through the toughest of days.
Love to all!

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